Posted by: Sreejith | March 6, 2008

In their views

I read somewhere that an interview is where two people lie to each other about what they have to offer. I would say that’s pretty close to the truth. But then lying doesn’t come easily to many people and that is why interviews are certainly very stressful to us. The easiest interviews are definitely the ones in which the interviewer smiles and welcomes you. A reassuring smile in the midst of anxiety is one of the most uplifting gestures.

I remember one of the rounds of interview with my current employer where the interviewer got scared on seeing my fingers shaking. Now i’ve got this strange condition where my fingers tremble a little when i suspend them freely. No it is not weird and normally is not very pronounced. But with all the ambient stress around in an interview that trembling often gets magnified and this particular interviewer was afraid that he had totally psyched me out even before the interview! He was like ‘Dude, stop shaking! Its only an interview!’. Of course i did explain things and everything went smoothly after that to the point that the interviewer became really friendly. In-fact so friendly that he even told me during the course of the interview that he had previously worked for a lingerie company before moving to this bank. Instantly i was like ‘dude.. that’s murder! Thats definitely the worst decision anyone has ever made. How does anyone even considering leaving a company where you would get paid for ogling at huge posters of super models in lingerie and then call it insight generation!! And then to add to injury how do you move to a bank – a place where you see money moving all around you but never can lay your hands on any!’ This guy is my big boss now so i shall not say further.

Now coming to the point of this post – which is definitely not to educate anyone on how to go about an interview. You could learn the do-not’s of giving an interview but then you must read this very intently in that case. Over the period of my life i have given many interviews and even had the misfortune of judging people from the other side of the desk a few times. Having worked in 3 companies, almost all of these exclusively were job interviews. But a few days back there was this other kind of interview i had to undergo – an admission interview for getting into those damn IIM’s.

The venue was some hotel in Bangalore and i reached there well in time dressed up in formals. However the tie which i had borrowed had been discarded to my bag because of a general lack of confidence that i could carry off a tie. I was already jittery because in the last interview i had forgotten to get a photo and screwed the interview in general so i could not afford to screw up anymore. As soon as i entered the waiting room and glanced around i noticed that half the people were dressed in suits and the other half had at least ties. I was the only one without even a tie and that was the trigger for the panic to set in. After a few minutes of brainstorming with myself about the futility of the tie, i decided it wasn’t worth the ordeal so i just gave up on the tie.

Someone called me in for my interview and in i went. It started well and 15 minutes into it i was giving out liberal doses of gyan on Analytics, CRM, Marketing and all those buzz words. I was even debating the difference between consumers and customers with the best marketing professors in the country. It was growing better and better till the point where i was actually cracking jokes with the interviewers. To their question of ‘what will you be doing after 40 years?’ i replied tongue in cheek, ‘Hopefully be alive!’. In fact any kind of self depreciating joke is quite funny but joking about your death is not quite there.

At this point of time one of the interviewers asked me to give them the second completed form. Now that came as a surprise because i was under the impression that i wasn’t needed to fill the 2nd form. When i told him i didn’t fill it because i assumed that i wasn’t supposed to fill the form. The guy actually picked up the instruction page and showed me the line where it said – Please fill in both the forms. I believe i almost let out a ‘ooho’ sigh and then i heard a swooshing sound as luck and opportunity deserted me instantly. The problem with reaching atmospheric levels is that when you fall, you fall a really long way down and it hurts like hell all through the fall.

During the next 5 minutes the guys ripped me apart for being irresponsible, careless, not interested and even hopeless. The expressions on my face changed from a beaming πŸ™‚ to a hmmm 😐 to a oopsie 😳 to a depressed 😦 to an anguished πŸ˜₯

That was how my last interview went and everyone can learn a few things out of this. So folks the next time you go to an interview fill all the forms and in case you forgot to fill a form, apologize and don’t claim that you assumed things. Its a valuable lesson which i was taught all through school and college but which i learned the hard way out now.

If you notice an extra sprinkling of ‘dude’ in this post its probably because i’ve been watching ‘The Big Lebowski‘ too many times lately. Thanks Yogi for forcing me to see it. The dude abides.

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Responses

  1. CSI SlipStream in an IIM …

    I pity the fools there … they’ll all be dead at T Spawn πŸ˜€

  2. form is temporary, class is permanent? πŸ˜€

  3. fingers trembling when suspended freely .. I have that condition too !!

    and when in doubt … make a copy of the form .. fill one and keep the other unfilled πŸ˜›

  4. “Now i’ve got this strange condition where my fingers tremble a little when i suspend…….”

    Try a peg of vodka. πŸ™‚
    That shud stop the shaking.

    Oh, the interview went bad??. thats awful !

  5. Dont think too much abt the interviews dude…the IIM profs wud be more than happy to have a different (huge) species in their backyard[:)]

  6. IV, blasphemy! its ‘S|ipStreaM’ not ‘SlipStream’! bah.

    Manu, Not all forms are uniform. this form filling needs reform πŸ˜›

    Rama, i actually made a copy of all forms. come to think of it i never filled the copy of the form as well!

    Taju, rum for me πŸ™‚ ah well… guess u shall see me around in office for a long time now.

    Gaurav, *ouch*

  7. Welcome back πŸ™‚

    Form filling is trivial i guess πŸ˜› I wudn’t let such lowly mundane activity spoil a candidature. Rather, u cracking jokes with ’em shud serve as the winner πŸ˜€

    all the best for the results!

  8. But why did the guy ripped you apart for not filling the form? He should have asked you to fill it in five minutes and give it to him. Big deal.
    And “The Big Lebowski”? Never heard of it. πŸ™‚
    So…I guess I have to download and watch it. πŸ˜‰

  9. This is the situation when one tries all his might to symphatise with a soul in agony but ends up saying “lol !!”
    and in CS terms when the other team mate says,”gg anyway”

  10. dude wouldn’t mind screwing up interviews!!

    anyway, people have difficulty in lying?
    That’s weird

    Btw nice post man

  11. First of all, Yay! You’re back! πŸ™‚

    That sonds like something that would happen to me! Twins separated at birth? You have the other half of a green soapbox?

    I’ve never been interviewed. Not surprising, since I’ve never held a job either. *sigh*

  12. Good luck with the results and any furture interviews. An opportunity lost is an opportunity gained somewhere else.. take it easy…

  13. I too have this shaking thing!! And it can grow some times.. to the extent that once I was spilling the coffee I had in my hand thanx to the shaking!! Glad to know that I am not the only one with this condition.. People had me thinking that this may be Parkinson’s 😦

  14. Ahh..good to see you back “dude”!! πŸ˜‰ Hmm, so the IIMs have been keeping you busy..
    Well, just give them your blog link and am sure they’ll be so impressed by what you write and understand the kind of remorse you are feeling that they’ll definately take you in!! πŸ˜€

  15. he he…. i-i(a)m Sreejith !! get it ? forget it, that was bad !!

  16. first of all, congrats on ur new job…

    i hate ties…hve been wearing it from the time i can recall, thanks to a convent education and a hotel management degree..so now, i dont wear it…

    if it makes u feel any better, i hve never fared well in interviews…bad jokes somehow always seems to tick them off…wonder why

  17. πŸ˜€ Painful mistakes, but if they have any sense, they won’t reject a candidate for no filling a bloody form.

    I hate forms. Bloody bureaucratic red tapist shit…:)

  18. trembling fingers ??

    that never ever happens to you in CS, huh

  19. LOL! My heartfelt sympathies to you for braving the IIM interviews. And all the best for others (pedigreed pup future notwithstanding…) πŸ˜‰

  20. Gaurav, thanks dude. hopefully other people also think on your lines πŸ™‚

    Amit, forms are important because supposedly it shows how much you respect the institute! and the Big Lebowski gets a huge thumbs up from me… watch it! not to forget…welcome to dailyrium! πŸ™‚

    Sukesh, i know! i was laughing at the whole thing 10 mins after the interview!

    Rahul, the dude is an aspirational person… i am not there yet. And thank you!

    Dr. AP, i had a broken soapbox when i was a kid… now i know who stole it! u better stay away from my scented candles! oops πŸ˜€ and trust me… all jobs suck. stay in college!

    Joy, always been taking it easy.. maybe too easy πŸ™‚

    Himank, parkinsons? now u’ve got me worried! i guess its not so uncommon…so must not be too serious. hopefully.

    Sam, hihihi.. now thats a great idea but thats no longer a USP πŸ™‚ aaj kal everyone is a blogger. and all of you write so well too.

    Tipo, ouch.. now that so bad that no one will ever get it! i didn’t know you were on my yahoo messenger list!

    Tys, no new job here.. just the interviews. And where do interviewers leave their sense of humor at interviews!

    Sporadic, forms are intended to make us conformists. guess its sometimes better to conform when the need is ours πŸ™‚

    Pati, hihihi..i braved all that to get those headshots!

    Ideasmith, thanks! pedigreed pup eh.. i like the sound of that πŸ™‚

  21. Allll the very besht πŸ™‚

  22. pwned πŸ™‚

  23. trembling fingers..? 😦

    i do very well (okay, reasonably well) in interviews except the school ones where the a***h**** get to decide whether my child is worthy enough for their school or not…

  24. Hey!:) Congrats on that job!:)

    No wonder you were away in between…but its good to see you back!:)

    I sound damn boring and stuck up in my interviews (coz lawyers are expected to) and then the real me comes out at work!!:) I have a track record of surprising two bosses..:)

  25. where u man?

  26. where u man?

  27. You are LAZY. Bad Sreejith. x-(

  28. Nice one!!! All the very best !!

    I have started a new blog where you can show your creativity and sense of humor to others. Please post your comments in my blog:

    http://kissplease.blogspot.com/

    (This is not a spam comment..This is also not a porn blog.)

    Thanks,

    Trojan

  29. “dude”!!! phew!!…guess iim ppl called you for a counter view rather than an interview! [:D]

  30. Good blog! Neat design as well…

  31. Hehe.. i also “me likes this” Abey waise which interview was this? ABM? Par whatever.. however good u write, u cant impress the gods.. u going to helL for sure! πŸ˜‰

  32. Hi Sreejith.
    I visit your blog page occasionally to check whats new. Wonder how I missed this Delirious one!
    Nice write up.
    The ability to laugh at one’s own self shows confidence…and a deep understanding like Richard Bach said in Illusions- The Prophecies of a fake Messiah… No problem is so big that it cannot be runaway from. Hahaha:)

  33. Sree.. you and tensed, I really can’t imagine that ! I’d always been thinkin of, how cool-ly you can blow away stress / incidents such (now everyone knows, all that you splurged in this blog entry, is sarcasm at its best). Neways, I hope IIM.. oops! forgot to add the damn tag to it, .. gets to insulate you from stress πŸ˜‰ & will let u show off your tie πŸ™‚ .. n I definitely won’t tell your big boss that u were influenced while interviewing πŸ˜‰ !

  34. where u man?….this new job seems to hve consumed u…everything ok?

  35. […] be attributed to me quitting my job and leaving Bangalore to go back to school. Yes! Even after my disastrous interview, I managed to get into IIM Lucknow. Many thanks to everyone who wished me luck. So yet another new […]

  36. […] be attributed to me quitting my job and leaving Bangalore to go back to school. Yes! Even after my disastrous interview, I managed to get into IIM Lucknow. Many thanks to everyone who wished me luck. So yet another new […]

  37. Hi Sreejith, Good one man. Humorous. I like the way you write.
    Dheep.


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